Dim cn As Object
    Dim rs As Object
    Dim sql As String

    Set cn = CreateObject("ADODB.Connection")
        cn.ConnectionString = "Provider=SQLOLEDB.1;Integrated Security=SSPI;server=srv19"
        cn.Open
        
    Set rs = CreateObject("ADODB.Recordset")
   
    sql ="select gender from test_r"

    rs.Open sql, cn, 3, 3
    
   rs.Edit 'ошибка 438 Object doesn't support this property or method
'     rs.addnew
    rs.Fields("gender").Value = "123"
    rs.Update

rs.Open sql, cn, 3, 3 '-- не уверен нащет правильности ну ок
    with rs
.MoveFirst
Do While (.EOF = False)
.Fields("gender") = "123" 
.MoveNext             
Loop
.update
.Close
    End With

    rs.Fields("gender").Value = "123"
    rs.Update